LESSONS FROM ZEMBA AND SYLVIA’S WEDDING

“Should marriage be a lifetime union or commitment?” The preacher paused as he looked intently at the soon to be wed couple with these opening remarks to his marriage talk.

“To know the answer, we can start by looking at the marriage vows, what do they say?" He continued.

“For better for worse…. till death do us part…...so long as we both shall leave.”

What does this mean?

“The union you have entered into is a lifetime commitment. Henceforth you should know this union is not reversible. There is no reverse gear.”

Why do we respect the vows?

Genesis 2:24: “A man will leave his father and his mother and stick to his wife.”

This indicates the intimacy and permanency of the marriage union. It is the only relationship that God said they will become one flesh. It means former ties to friends and relatives have to be adjusted. Friends and family can no longer take priority. Your mate is your number 1 priority.

How can you make it last?

Matthew 22:37-39: Love God with your whole heart.......and love your neighbour as yourself.

"God is paramount example of Love. This scripture expresses the desire to completely devote our lives to Jehovah. Zemba your nearest neighbour is Sylvia and Sylvia your nearest is your husband. You must love each."

Why should we cultivate love of God and our neighbour?

Ecclesiastes 4:12:"…… A threefold cord cannot quickly be torn apart.

Love can make marriage stronger, but it will become even stronger if God is part of it. This makes it become a 3-fold cord.

To the Husband

Ephesians 5:25,28,29: "Husbands, continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and gave himself up for it………... In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself for no man ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cherishes it, just as the Christ does the congregation."

“Zemba, this is not a request but a command to continue showing enduring love to Sylvia. You must love your wife as your own body. You are now responsible for the well-being of your wife both physically and spiritually.”

To the Wife

Ephesians 5:24,33: "On the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband."

"Sylvia, you are reminded to be in subjection to your husband. This is in line with headship i.e., Christ head of the congregation and God head of the Christ."

Two key things to be aware of: i) be in subjection to your husband ii) have deep respect for your husband

"Work hard for the good of your household. Show him by your actions that you love and deeply respect him. Always speak well of your husband. Be a reason why he will rush home from work. For most husbands, they work overtime to avoid reaching home early because of their wife. Remember you are a helper not a competitor."

Clothe yourselves with love

Colossians 3:12-14:"…………… clothe yourselves with love, for it is a perfect bond of union."

We wear clothes to look nice, to keep us warm in winter or to protect ourselves as in the case of personal protective equipment (PPE). In a similar vein, clothing yourselves with love means it will beautify you in public, protect you or keep you warm during challenging times, etc.

Always look for ways to show you love your met dearly. "Even doing small things like calling each other sweetie, honey, baby, etc. or buying each other small gifts like sweets which you know your met likes. It is not the size of the gift that matters but the thought behind it because this shows that you were thinking of him/her when you do it."

If you do the small things, they will strengthen your marriage and make it a lifetime union filled with joy and love.